Excuse me while I interrupt your good deed!

I love being asked if I need help. No really, it feels squishy and community-building when a fellow denizen of this globe stops what they’re doing to see if I’m in need of assistance. It positively tickles me.

What doesn’t cause shivers of…glee up and down my spine is the do-good-or-elser. This person is set on good deeds or simply raking in that one karma point a day. To hell with the receiver and their’ needs, that’s far less important! The DGOE person is going to hold that one door open, shout out directions, stop traffic, get objects, clear a path or whatever else they think is important to your survival.

My favorite? The indignant DGOE. This person screams and chases the person with a disability. They tell that person what they need. I once had a lady scream at me in a train station because she was getting the elevator. We were already at the stairs and on our way down….so she said “fuck you” and went on with her morning commute.

Is it so hard to ask if someone needs help and then *accept the answer*? Or is that breaking some able-bodied code, the one that says if you’re mean to disabled people you too will become inhuman and disabled? What if your idea of helpfulness isn’t? One time I had someone race to open a door for me, succeeding in hitting me in the face. Maybe next time asking me if I wanted the door open would have been more….erm….helpful.

Or not. Maybe talking to the disabled nulls the good deed and you become disabled anyway.

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2 responses to “Excuse me while I interrupt your good deed!

  1. They’re already hostile and angry even before we refuse the help. Their “help” is actually aggression. When I realized that it really blew my mind – it was like seeing into the heart of the power dynamics.

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    • I thought you were about to say “tartus” and I was about to squee in fangirl delight. But that would make them all better people and……no.

      Like

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